Traditions
by idioticonion
Summary: Marshall upsets Robin at Ted and Barney's Kokomo Party in "Three Days Of Snow". Written for the prompt "Robin/Marshall - Traditions"


**Traditions**

"Marshall, for the love of God, I did _not_ come on to you!" Robin laughed, trying to find a comfortable spot on the arm of the couch. The apartment was full of some kind of marching band from California. Ted had drunkenly tried to explain this to her in a story that seemed to involve him and Barney buying a bar called Puzzles (which she hoped wasn't true) and she'd just given him a glassy eyed smile and told herself that she would put salt in his coffee the next morning.

The apartment was heaving. But still, it wasn't as if she had to get up for work in the morning.

"Admit it, Robin!" Marshall replied. "Ever since I took you to the Walleye, you've had the hots for me. You've seen the _package_ and you want a piece of Minnesota muffin!" Marshall burped and Robin wrinkled her nose.

"Minnesota Mu-? Oh my G- _No_!" She blurted. Jesus! Was everyone in this place roaring drunk? Robin couldn't remember Marshall being this bad, even when Lily moved to San Francisco.

"Then what was all that with the closing of the eyes and the leaning in to me?" Marshall crossed his arms, smugly.

Robin shook her head, dumbfounded.

"You know, I told _Ted_!" Marshall said with a mock-whisper.

"Marshall… I was going to open the sun-roof to get us out of the car! That's why I said to close your eyes! I wasn't leaning towards _you_! I was leaning towards the sun-roof control!"

Marshall snorted. "Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, Ro-bin!"

"And what has _Ted_ got to do with anything!" Robin hissed. This had ceased to be even slightly amusing.

"Well, since you seem to be after Ted too…" Marshall barked.

"What! Ted and I aren't sleeping together any-"

"I mean, who are you gonna go after next? _Barney_? Oh no, I forgot, you already _did_!"

Robin saw red, drew back her hand and delivered a stinging slap across Marshall's cheek. Before he could say another word, she stormed across the room (well, she wanted to storm but there were too many people in the way so she kind-of meandered across the room) and headed for her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She wasn't going to cry. She waved her hands in front of her eyes, as if that would help.

The trouble was, she was totally fed up with Marshall and his condescending attitude: Calling her a slut because she'd slept with Mitch, constantly telling tales on people (she still hadn't forgiven him for shattering her illusions that Ted and Barney had gotten into a fight) and generally being an all-round douche.

She let out a sob. She didn't need this! She _really_ didn't need this! She didn't need her drunken friends pointing out how crappy her life was. She already _knew_ how crappy her life was.

There was a knock at the door.

"Go away!" She tried to say, but her throat was thick with tears. She wasn't crying! She didn't cry… Her nose was just full of… awesome! She tried to smile, reaching over for a Kleenex to blow it.

There was another, louder, knock at the door. It opened slowly and a very contrite-looking Marshall poked his head inside. "Robin… can I come in?" Half of his face was flaming red. He hiccupped.

She shrugged. She didn't really want to talk to anybody.

"I'm- I'm _really_ sorry." Marshall said, shifting his weight from foot to foot, holding his beer bottle to his chest like a talisman.

Robin frowned a little.

"I don't know what's the matter with me!" Marshall continued. "I guess I'm just missing Lily and stressed out about the snow and everything changing and I don't think you're a robot (you're more likely to be a space alien than anything) because you're a very kind person and you drove me to the airport even though your car was buried in snow and-" Marshall said all this without taking a breath and Robin was a little worried he was going to keel over if she didn't interrupt him.

"Okay, okay…" She said, holding up one hand. "Stop right there, soldier." She laughed. "Look, I know you're stressed. But you obviously have a problem with me at the moment and, frankly, it's insulting. Barney sleeps around all the time and you don't call _him_ a slut. I'd never have put you down as a sexist pig, Marshall, but you sure are acting like it. What's that about, eh?"

Marshall grinned because she'd gone a little super-Canadian in that last sentence. But he was pissing her off!

"Robin, I _am_ sorry. I guess I have been a little hard on you lately. I just don't think this is _you_, okay? You're a classy lady. You don't have to sleep around. I just want you to find someone who makes you happy, you know? Someone to love!"

Robin couldn't help but smile at that. "I'm not _like_ you and Lily, Marshall. I can't do all those sappy traditions. I don't want two point four kids and a cottage with a picket fence, you know? I want adventure and fun and… I'm not getting it here. I'm unemployed and I've got no money and, truth be told, I'm scared. I don't know what I'm doing." Tears filled her eyes once more.

Marshall sat down next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. Robin laughed, a little sadly. She couldn't help but remember another of her male friends comforting her in a very similar way once. And look what that led to?

"I'm scared too…" Marshall said. "I'm scared that I'm losing Lily somehow; losing all the _romance_. That no matter how hard I try and hang on, I'm kind-of being forced to grow up. And growing up seems boring as hell."

Robin sighed, leaning into Marshall's embrace. He felt solid, sturdy, dependable.

"Sometimes you just have to make a mistake." She said with a sigh. "You just have to try something new, something bold. You forget that as you grow older, I guess." She felt Marshall nod. "Hey, I've got an idea!" She pulled away from him.

Marshall shook his head and rubbed his face, then looked down at her with a smile. His eyes were red-rimmed. "What?"

"There's a whole marching band here - ask a couple of them to come with you to meet Lily tomorrow. Trust me, musical instruments are _really_ romantic."

Marshall grinned. "Robin, that's a _great_ idea! Thank you." He looked a little crestfallen. "And I _am_ really sorry. I feel horrible for upsetting you."

She smiled and gave him a big hug.

"Hey, are you coming on to me again?" He said, teasingly.

She laughed, punching him lightly. "Come on, let's go join the party?"

As they left her room, they passed Ted and Barney, standing by the door, having one of their slurred, overly-loud conversations.

"We should totally start a band!"

"It would be an _awesome_ band!"

"Let's start a band, dude."

She couldn't help but giggle. They were adorable when they were like this. She stopped and threw her arms around both of their necks, nodding to Marshall as he disappeared into the crowd.

"Hey guys - do you need a singer?" She asked with a grin.


End file.
